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4.44 First Date Questions – What makes you happy?

Today’s podcast includes two different rambles that are going to pique the interests of my collected foot fetish and high-heel enthusiasts.

I’ve also heard that the snippet from the Winter Cuddle 7 Session Bundle that talks about stockings is particularly of interest to the type of man with those sorts of interests.

The code MONDAY20 will still grant you 20% off your order all the way to midnight Tuesday.

I’ll be watching USA Vs. Iran and Wales Vs. England this evening, among friends.
If you’re joining me, you should take a chance to browse the shop during half time, and treat yourself to some HFO or Cuddle Time to celebrate victories (or mourn defeat).


I struggled to come up with a title for today’s podcast episode… so I decided to go with “First Date Questions – What nakes you happy?” He was really tall. I mean… ridiculously tall, even next to my wearing-heels-that-should-only-go-to-dinner, or the bedroom heels. Are you familiar with these?

Let’s digress shortly… there are, you know, different stages some women go through in their lives, especially if that woman is clever enough, you know… clever enough to realise she has that freedom of choice, even if it ends up being the wrong choice. Though that choosing generally leads to better choosing in the future. One of those scenarios, it involves heels.

Yes, I know. Women are not the only ones that wear heels, but I can say that those heels I’ve chosen for others, they tend to just be those private encounter heels, and they’re never expected to wear them to a work do, or on that third, should-we-fuck date. For me, I clearly remember a date… a meeting with a particularly lovely man that I’d already had a few social encounters with, but never a proper date. So, there weren’t the usual first date whatever-things going on. We actually knew each other.

Now unlike the man I mentioned when I started this rambling tale, this particular man he wasn’t tall. He was, well… is, he’s still living his happy life in the home state of Mickey Mouse, grandly living out his fantasies in the daily, and that makes me happy as well.

Well I wore heels to that dinner. Low ones. Practically kitten heels, and if you don’t know what those are, you should. You are a man who claims to be into Femdom, and knowing all the ins and outs of clothing, it’s basically a job requirement. You are not the average dude, who is above all that kind of woman-stuff, right?


So, kitten heels, dinner, and then the after-dinner stroll that happened to be on the absolutely worst pavement, uh… sidewalk, that you can imagine. Like a proper gentleman, which happens to be just about the only type I date, he offered his arm. But I realised the heels were either going to meet an unhappy end, or you know… worse. I really didn’t want to land on my ass in front of the Friday Night crowd. I blame that sling-back design more than the height or non-height of the heels, but whatever. I’m digressing from my digression.

He was dressed in the understated yet quite appealing man’s style of a nice shirt, jacket, jeans, and a pair of Vans. That was the night that I learned that not only do I like Vans. The shoes. But my date and I had, well have… as I mentioned, he’s still alive. And this is starting to make me sound guilty, isn’t it? I keep saying “No, I swear he’s still alive! When I left him he was breathing.” Anyway, he’s still alive, so am I, and we have the same size foot.

I ended up keeping his Vans, and he kept my heels. And, that was also the night I learned about these marvellous inventions. There are flats that fold to be put into a practical purse when heels just won’t do for a walk. And really, who wants to give up romantic walks just because of their shoes?

So certain heels of mine are for dinner, or the bedroom, or playroom-playtime. I mean that counts, too. The rest of the time I confess that I prioritise my comfort and happiness over style, but since this is an auditory experience, you’re welcome to imagine whatever, on my feet. I actually encourage it… go on. It can even be kinda white, warm and sticky. Because some days, that’s the perfect sprinkling for bare feet… followed by a warm tongue.

Oh, I should mention that this comes to mind because my shoe-swapping date, he’s also a foot fetishist, and played a pretty big role in my conversion. Just no tickling, I’m not into being tickled.

So anyway, back to my story. Back to this party. He was really tall. We had a conversation about nonsense… well, there’s no shame here right, so I’ll just tell you. It was about whether or not “Last Christmas” is a breakup song. I’ll let you know, I do have strong feelings on this topic, so if you want to be brave and share your opinion, go for it.

At dinner, when our knees, they brushed under the table, it felt like I’d been punched in the gut. Now how often do you get that? So I shared this with a friend of mine, who was being nosey and asked about the dinner party. And she gave me the usual platitudes. You know, appealing to fate in these circumstances. The whole…
“What will be will be.”
“What’s yours will find you.”

And I get it, there is something kinda nice in almost outsourcing it, right? Just letting it be under another’s control. Obviously I get that, because I get you… and you often want some of these trivial, or not, things to be under another’s control. And I’m happy, seriously happy, to provide that particular service. But I’m not really happy in allowing another, especially fate, destiny, whatever, to provide that service for me.

I’m not really a “What’s yours will find you.” kind of woman. I’m more of a “What’s mine is mine because I claimed it.” A follower recently asked me a list of First Date kind of questions, and one included was “What makes you happy?” And my immediate thought, which I did share, is getting what I want makes me happy. Now it can be small… it can be a detail remembered, like tulips instead of roses. Or those lovely manners that are used in 90% of the emails and messages that I receive.

It’s the person that goes to my wishlist and sends me pens and Post Its. As well as things like the yoga mat, which… it’s kind of hard to describe, isn’t it? Because I think in today’s world especially as we’re coming up to Christmas with all these gifts just swirling around, having a gift… granted, it’s a little cheating because I did put it on a wishlist, but I do try to have a variety on there.

But having a gift that comes, especially when somebody includes a note as to why they feel I will like it, it’s just good, isn’t it? It makes you feel seen. So remember that. Consider that an Elswyth gift-giving tip for this season. Really think about that other person… you know, put that thinking cap on. Maybe write a few sentences about them or so on. But really think “What will make them feel seen?” Whether it’s just an upgrade to something they use all the time… or something you remember they mentioned back in July, and you hunted it down.

Good gifts are usually not about the money. Not at all. And so those little details, those moments of getting what I want, especially from another person who knows exactly what kind of relationship we have? Yeah, that makes me happy. That person who’s catching that clever turn of a phrase, or snippet of a sound hidden in a session, there’s one particular session that… hidden in it is a bit of a joke in the music. And man, I love that… I love, love, love that when somebody catches it and sends me a message about it. Because it just makes it all worthwhile… I know there’s a place for the HFOs, the JOIs, and all of that fun stuff, right? I’m not against it. I’m not against telling you exactly how to play with your cock.

I just also like when you catch that little melody, and you know… I made sure it was placed there because I found it clever and funny. That is what I want. I want the quick-witted. The mentally keen. The exceptional daydreamer… who can be dragged down deeper.

So while the man at the dinner party was tall, a great conversationalist, and something about my body touching his body created all kinds of fireworks, I honestly can’t say that seeing him again would be something that would make me happy, because I know that the type of person, the type of connection that I want. That I basically demand and refuse to ever compromise on, it’s quite rare. It’s very rare. Because even the ones that say “I’m a very submissive guy, come break me, take me, do whatever you want with me”, it’s still not quite right. Is it?

I suspect that if I gave you that list of First Date Questions and you had to answer on behalf of me, I bet you could do it… and that makes me happy.

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